Friday, May 15, 2009

Sense of relief...

I had a fantastic visit to my OB on Wednesday. As usual, it was super uneventful symptom-wise. A bit of nausea ( you've go to love all day morning sickness in the third trimester), some headaches (one of which crippled me yesterday, but more on that later) and a bit of a back ache. What made it such a great visit wasn't the fact that I didn't have to wait too long, or that I was home by 5pm, but that we talked about the main thing that was worrying me.


Not just the act of pushing (although he assures me that it will be faster this time, no hour and quarter of 'pushing like you're doing a poo'), but the position I'll be in. Even though Riordan was baby #2, he was natural birth #1, so I was quite clueless. I just did what I was told, which was pushing in a semi-reclined position, one foot being held by Darren, the other by the midwife. I told the midwife that I wasn't that comfortable (and in hindsight, I just felt really undignified and inhibited by it, which made my pushing worse) but I was assured that it was the best position for me to be in. I wasn't really in a state to argue, so I just went with it and obviously the baby came out eventually.

This time, I bought it up with Dr Roxburgh, told him how scared I was of doing it that way again, and was thrilled when he told me I didn't have to! He suggested squatting, something I felt like doing with Riordan but couldn't, or on all fours. His only concern was that the baby may come out a little fast in those sorts of positions, and as I am a bit hesitant about destroying my perineum again to be aware of it, but it's officially written on my card now, so EVERYONE will know. I'm also going to make Darren very aware of it, so he can speak up if I can't.
It's just such a relief, and I am looking forward to labour even more now. Between the calmbirth course, and the freedom to deliver how I want, I feel invincible! It's going to be a great birth.

At the moment, however, at 33w4d, I am feeling physically exhausted. I could have never imagined the strain that working fulltime while pregnant, and having two kids under 3 1/2 at home to look after, would take on me. I am Super Woman! Hardly. I want to be, think I should be, but I'm just not. I came home from work yesterday with a hideous headache (I could barely focus on my computer screen) and tried to sleep it off, but it just didn't work. I was also consumed with guilt as Mum is suffering really badly with headaches at the moment too. She thinks that neck tension is the problem, but I'm scared she's going to have a stroke or something.

I told my manager how stuffed I am, and she was surprisingly sympathetic, even suggesting I finish work early. I was just thinking about it myself! We're going to have a talk on Tuesday (I have Monday off) and I am going to say I want to leave. My boys need me, my body needs the rest and the baby needs me to be all that I can be, not just an empty shell of a mother for the sake of a bit more money. I officially have 3 weeks left to work as of today (the earliest I have left work for maternity leave), but I am hoping that she'll let me finish next week, or maybe early the week after.

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