Thursday, May 28, 2009

Four days in...

So here I am, four days in to my return to SAHM-hood. The house is blissfully quiet, relatively quiet and I am blogging... that's right, the boys aren't here!

Mum just came and got them for the first time this week. Things have actually been going quite well. The fighting is still unbelievable, I feel more like a referee than a mother sometimes, but there have been plenty of nice things to make up for it. Yesterday Riordan even had a three hour sleep, so with Bowen at pre-school, I had lots of time to recharge and catch up with all the Mediums I had on tape.

We are starting to get into our groove now, initially the boys were too scared to look away from me lest I disappear back to work, but they happily went with Nan today (who is also missing them now she's back at work). I'm remembering the pre-school routine (Bowen only cried on Tuesday when I left him, by yesterday he realised I was coming back), all the years of swimming lessons I've attended have flooded back after one session (not that I enjoy them any more than I ever did, no sooner will Riordan be in the pool by himself then I'll have to get back in there with Mini Muffin, worse luck) and we're getting a really good bedtime routine happening again.

I am a bit scared, I'm being left to my own devices next week. Darren is going on a week long course in Queensland. I have no worries about the baby (this one's not coming out any sooner than the other two) but all week long hearing,

"Is Daddy home? When's he getting home? Where is he? Where's QLD? Can I got to QLD? Why not? Why? Why?" from Bowen, and;

"Dad-dy! DAD-DY!!!!!" from Riordan is going to drive me insane!

I do have some secret pleasures to look forward to... lots of parcels in the mail! I did a bit of internet shopping on Friday night, and a bit more this week, so I've received 2 parcels so far, with another 3 to come! I bought some nappies from the EB trading rooms, an Epi-no (which I still have to wait a week or so to start using, according to the box), some Pramskins for the double MB, some nappy covers from Baby Beehinds (they seem to be the only ones that don't give Riordy-boy a mark on his legs) and some wool covers from EB. Phew! It's so exciting opening them, it's like Christmas! Especially as you don't know exactly when they are coming...

I'm nesting like a maniac, things that I've been waiting to tidy up for nine months are finally getting attended to. This afternoon I have to get into Riordan's room and clean out the too small clothes from his chest of drawers (I somehow have to cram all the boy's clothes into one tall boy and two bedside tables, easier said than done) and then prepare to get rid of the lounge so I can really get into that room. I'm actually looking forward to it! As soon as I have my hot chocolate, and watch the Spicks and Specks I taped last night...

Friday, May 22, 2009

All over!

So, this is it.

My last day at work before baby number three comes into our lives.

I am filled with nervous anticipation. On one hand, I am looking forward to the rest, to be able to get my energy back (is is possible to bank energy? Note to self: Investigate possibility) and get my life and house organised. On the other hand, in my mind's eye I can just see five, probably six, weeks stretching out in front of me that I have to fill. What on earth do I do with my children? It's been nine months since I've had to fill in the days with them, and I'm quite anxious about it. What did we used to do? Somehow I don't think they will be quite as excited about cleaning out their chests of drawers as I am. I'm going to have to ask Mum for tips...

Speaking of Mum, it looks like she'll be going back to work! Her old manager has been ringing her for a couple of months now, trying to coerce her into coming back. He called her again yesterday, the day before I finish work, to ask if she would like to come back part time, making her own hours. Talk about timing! Mum has even been recently looking the local papers to see if there was any part time work around. She is the sort of person that likes to be doing something, finding a hobby and sitting around the house while I have the kids is not something that would keep her interested. She still wants to have the boys on a regular basis, and hopefully she can work around this. I'm thrilled for her, it all seems to be working out well.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

The End is Nigh

The end is in sight!

After negotiating with my manager, I am now finishing work tomorrow! Hooray! I may actually have time to rest and get some energy back before the baby is born.

It also means I have 5 weeks to lick these boys I already have into shape. At the moment I am part-time Mummy, and full-time referee. I am constantly trying to break up fights that have both already started, or just about to. Riordan, I am sad to say, is a biter, and poor Bowie cops it all the time. He only bites his brother, and when he does it, he does a fine job. Bowen is currently sporting a couple of lovely dental impressions on his back (Little Man's preferred spot).
My method is two fold; I try to make Bowen aware of the situations that Riordan may bite him in (when he gets frustrated or wants something that Bowen has, or when he gets something taken away from him by Bowen) and tell him to avoid them; and after the act has been perpetrated I put Riordan in a time out. Time out isn't a concept that he particularly comprehends, but it at least removes him from the situation. I've managed to stop Bowen from biting back, especially as he seemed to prefer Riordan's face for his bite site, and I've told him to just walk away if he thinks it's going to happen.

Ooh, I haven't mentioned, my Big Boy is growing up so fast. Darren and I decided to capitalise on his interest in all things dirt bike and get him one! He is now the proud owner of a Peewee 50, his 'blue Yamaha'. Daz is a mad keen dirt biker, has been doing it for years, and there is no one that I would trust more to teach my son how to ride. He's got all the gear, a helmet, neck brace, goggles ('gobbles'!), gloves, pants and adorable little boots that he can put on and off himself. He just needs a jersey and he'll be set. We all understand that he's only three and a half, and he knows that he can only ride it when he's wearing all of his gear and Daddy is there (wearing his gear too). We've got some training wheels, but he's got to let us know when he's ready for them, so at the moment it's just riding with Daddy while he learns the brake and throttle.

Everyone has a horror story to tell me (hey, I've got one of my own, Darren was off work for 6 months with his broken wrist caused by dirt biking), but I have total faith in my husband to teach my son the right way to do things. A forkie at work was telling me of a relative of his that was in hospital for 8 months after a mini bike accident. They were testing the bike or something in the street, the dad doubling his son. Were he and his son wearing a helmet? No. Anything that happens after they get on that bike with no helmet is all their fault as far as I am concerned. My child is NEVER getting on either a motor bike or a push bike without protecting his precious head. Any of my children. If there was one thing that was drummed into me by my Policeman father it was that...

Bowen is getting stranger and stranger ideas about his new brother. He understands the concept, he's been there, done that 21 months ago. He knows that Mummy is having a baby brother for him, he's felt the kicks and hiccups, and the boys like to blow raspberries on my stomach and watch the baby react (Mini Muffin seems to get a kick out of hearing the boys laugh, and moves around heaps!). He is still under the impression that he is growing a baby in his tummy, a baby sister at that, and the baby moves around (picture a three year lifting his shirt and doing belly dancing moves, that's the baby moving) and yesterday even had the hiccups! He was also most disappointed when I came home from the PBC Expo on Saturday without a new baby. Bowie had gotten his wires crossed somehow and thought that I was bringing a baby home from the Baby Expo. I wish it was that easy!

Friday, May 15, 2009

Sense of relief...

I had a fantastic visit to my OB on Wednesday. As usual, it was super uneventful symptom-wise. A bit of nausea ( you've go to love all day morning sickness in the third trimester), some headaches (one of which crippled me yesterday, but more on that later) and a bit of a back ache. What made it such a great visit wasn't the fact that I didn't have to wait too long, or that I was home by 5pm, but that we talked about the main thing that was worrying me.


Not just the act of pushing (although he assures me that it will be faster this time, no hour and quarter of 'pushing like you're doing a poo'), but the position I'll be in. Even though Riordan was baby #2, he was natural birth #1, so I was quite clueless. I just did what I was told, which was pushing in a semi-reclined position, one foot being held by Darren, the other by the midwife. I told the midwife that I wasn't that comfortable (and in hindsight, I just felt really undignified and inhibited by it, which made my pushing worse) but I was assured that it was the best position for me to be in. I wasn't really in a state to argue, so I just went with it and obviously the baby came out eventually.

This time, I bought it up with Dr Roxburgh, told him how scared I was of doing it that way again, and was thrilled when he told me I didn't have to! He suggested squatting, something I felt like doing with Riordan but couldn't, or on all fours. His only concern was that the baby may come out a little fast in those sorts of positions, and as I am a bit hesitant about destroying my perineum again to be aware of it, but it's officially written on my card now, so EVERYONE will know. I'm also going to make Darren very aware of it, so he can speak up if I can't.
It's just such a relief, and I am looking forward to labour even more now. Between the calmbirth course, and the freedom to deliver how I want, I feel invincible! It's going to be a great birth.

At the moment, however, at 33w4d, I am feeling physically exhausted. I could have never imagined the strain that working fulltime while pregnant, and having two kids under 3 1/2 at home to look after, would take on me. I am Super Woman! Hardly. I want to be, think I should be, but I'm just not. I came home from work yesterday with a hideous headache (I could barely focus on my computer screen) and tried to sleep it off, but it just didn't work. I was also consumed with guilt as Mum is suffering really badly with headaches at the moment too. She thinks that neck tension is the problem, but I'm scared she's going to have a stroke or something.

I told my manager how stuffed I am, and she was surprisingly sympathetic, even suggesting I finish work early. I was just thinking about it myself! We're going to have a talk on Tuesday (I have Monday off) and I am going to say I want to leave. My boys need me, my body needs the rest and the baby needs me to be all that I can be, not just an empty shell of a mother for the sake of a bit more money. I officially have 3 weeks left to work as of today (the earliest I have left work for maternity leave), but I am hoping that she'll let me finish next week, or maybe early the week after.

Monday, May 11, 2009

calmbirth Classes

After much anticipation, my calmbirth (with a little 'c', not just a typo) classes were last weekend.

I was so looking forward to them. I wanted to get some new birthing techniques to get me through labour with no drugs. I was so close last time, and I just want to be all 'there' for this one.

Darren was less than excited.

"Why do we need to go to classes when we've already had two kids?"

He was even less thrilled when I told him that a big proportion of the classes was learning to breathe and meditate.

"I have to pay money to learn to breathe?"

So it was with great reluctance that he was dragged (well, obviously not literally dragged. He does weigh 40kgs more than me. OK, 25kgs at the moment, I am 'blooming' in this pregnancy LOL) to the Blue Mountains on this sunny Saturday.

There was only one other couple (happily, less pregnant than me. I always get extremely jealous of women having their babies before me) which was really nice as we got quite a lot of focused attention from Denise, the instructor. The others had come all the way from Mudgee, which impressed Daz a bit, and made him realise these classes are so well-regarded. Denise also recognised Darren's annoyance at having to come, justifying the way that he felt, which helped him a lot.

The day passed in a haze of breathing, meditating, a couple of videos, including one that made me sob (anything to do with newborns, or breastfeeding, especially while I'm pregnant, gets me every time). I went home with a massive headache (so much for being relaxed), but we were running early, which pleased both of us; Darren felt like his whole weekend wasn't 'wasted', and I got to do the groceries (I was stressing out wondering when I would find the time to get them done!).

I was mentally exhausted after my day, but Daz reckoned he wouldn't be able to sleep after spending all day sitting around breathing. We were both in bed, absolutely shattered, by 9pm!
Darren wasn't quite as hard to get to come on the Sunday. I was really looking forward to it, we were going to talk about more practical things like the actual labour and delivery, and it was here that all my experience could come to the fore.

Caesarean section?

Yep, had one of those!

Natural birth?

Yep, had one of those!

Drugs, anyone?

I've tried a few, but I'm here to avoid them!

We met the two other couples who would be joining us for the day (damn! One girl was 37 weeks! At least I should have my baby second...), did a bit more meditation, watched some amazing movies, including one birth video shot by a still camera, set to music. It was just the most beautiful thing. The baby-led attachment video also blew my mind. A minutes old baby can instinctively find the breast, and start feeding with perfect attachment. It's just all built in to them.

I took a lot away from the weekend, and I think Darren did too. I've still got to practise my breathing and use the CD's all the way up until the baby is born, but I already feel like I could have the baby tomorrow and remember everything.

I actually can't wait for my labour to begin!