Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Is this it?

I can't shake my longing for another baby. It comes and it goes (usually going in the middle of the night while I am feeding Austin for the umpteenth time), and it's not to get that mythical 'girl', it's just that I don't feel complete yet.

I still get a bit jealous when I find out friends are having babies, even though my latest is barely out of the womb. I still haven't gotten rid of my maternity clothes, is it because I'm lazy, or that I want to hang on to them, just in case?

A fourth baby (just saying that freaks me out a little) is a whole different ball game to three, it's a bigger car and so much more. It's a holiday complication (even three is complicated, so I've found out), it's even longer before I can escape the precision timing that drop-offs and pick-ups for various activities entail.

If another baby was to come along, it wouldn't be for a few more years. I would finish my Associate Degree (umm, and start it as well!), and see how things stood then, and if that urge was still there.

I never thought I would ever feel this way, I only ever had plans for one child, let alone three, but now I feel like I could gestate little people for a long time to come!

1 comment:

3TinLids said...

I wasn't able to shake it until I had my 4th baby - a girl after 3 boys! I was very prepared to have another boy, I just didn't feel complete! Once DD (No. 4) was born I felt totally at peace and whole! DH has just had "the snip" and I feel totally ok - not at all clucky!! I think you have to just do what is right for you.

In saying that, 4 children does change a few things, as you mentioned - need a bigger car, more bedrooms, and remind me again what a holiday is!!!

Good luck!